This morning I tried American coffee. I've come to the conclusion that they have a big lake of it that floats above the ocean, right next to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, or maybe even on top of it. It behaves like oil. Then they suck this through rusting pipes with holes for the rats to get in and drown through, all the way to the Coffee Treatment Plant under New York City. They pump the coffee up to a tower at the top of the Empire State Building and whatever other tall buildings are around, and whenever it hasn't rained for a while, they spray it down. It then is collected off the streets with whatever other rubbish it picked up along the way and pumped to collection tanks in all the other cities, where it stews for three summers in full sun.
We eventually found the shuttle from the airport to “Disneyland Resort”. Although the driver assured us in a heavy foreign accent that it went to the park, we were a bit apprehensive anyway. No one seemed to know how much it would cost. Finally, we arrived in a complex of hotels and carparks with funny road names such as “Magic Drive”, and we knew we were in the right place – but where was the park?
The driver announced the stop at Disneyland Hotel, and a burly guy with no hair got on and made us pay heinous amounts of money for the bus we had already taken. We almost didn't get off, then, to be cautious we asked where the park was and the driver told us to get off because it was JUST ROUND THE CORNER. Run run run. Run run.
Like giddy schoolchildren, we bolted for the park and
Adam:(KEY CHANGE!) and went past a million very fancy and/or very Disney looking shops. We were beginning to lose hope, suspecting that the hype of Disney land in reality amounted to a handful of nice, though disappointing, shops. Like a bunch of lost little electrons we followed the path of least resistance and found our way by mixing with the crowd. The entrance to the park was very low key (not very Odin at all), and after a quick bag check we were in.
The entrance to Disneyland really doesn't
give a hint of what's to come.
The attendant at the gate briefly explained the 'fast pass' system, we nodded politely not understanding a word. Turns out this was fairly important... Once inside we were awe-stuck – the park was everything we had imagined, only more so. Rows of fancy Disney shops greeted us with promises of ice-cream, clothing, and animatronic Lincoln. We spent the first few moments in a daze, and the next feverishly pouring over our map to determine our first port of call in magical Disneyland.
Adam:
Settling on 'Fantasy Land' we headed off. On the way we walked down 'Main Street USA' and past carts selling Churros, Balloons, and Candy Fluff (or Cotton Candy). In the main square we watched a horse drawn tram (crazy Americans clearly a little confused about how trams work) make the rounds. It was at this point that we were struck by the sheer size of the place, we later discover a convenient train that runs around the park, at this point however, we walk. Fantasy land here we come!
The entrance to Fantasyland is across a moat
and through a castle. It's just one example of
the kind of detail in every aspect of Disneyland.
Caitlin:
The park is divided into several different 'lands'. Fantasyland is the bit that really feels like Disney. It's got the most references to all the movies we grew up loving, and the first thing I saw was the huge Monstro head from Pinocchio. I was so excited and we immediately lined up for the Storybook ride associated. It turned out to be a boat ride through miniaturised versions of places from many of the Disney films - mostly villages or cities, but we went right through Monstro (who apparently sneezed so hard his tail blew off. I was horrified). My favourite part was the Aladdin section, where we went through the Cave of Wonders to Agrabah and the palace.
The Palace from Aladdin, all miniaturised.
Naturally, I was most excited about Adventureland and knew there was something of an Indiana Jones ride there (but didn't know what it was). On the way, we stopped by Tomorrowland where Adam waylaid us trying out the Fastpass system which we were really confused about.
Adam:
We notice the new and insanely popular 'Star Tours' ride, and the lengthy line spiraling out of it. We also spy our very first 'fast pass' station and resolve to save ourselves a wait. Now, the 'fast pass' system as it turns out is a way for guests to book a ride in advance so that instead of waiting you simply go the 'fast pass' entry and present your ticket, getting on the ride almost straight away. The catch being that you have to first request a pass from the station, and cannot hold more than two passes at once. Being fairly early in the day we figure that the 'fast pass' ticket will allow us to skip the moderately long line, so we print ours out...
Fast Pass Valid
Please return between:
7:45pm – 8:45pm
As it turns out the 'Star Tours' ride is so popular that we won't be getting in until the end of the day. “No problem” we figure, there's plenty to see until then.
Caitlin:
So, we continued on to Adventureland, which was even a joy to simply walk through. Everything looked like a jungle village lifted straight from a film, which was in some ways the coolest thing ever. You got the feeling of being in one without all the uncomfortable truths. In the markets, they sold fruit from wooden boxes filled with ice, right next to bottled water. It was a strange mix of fact and fiction. Looking for the Indiana Jones ride, we spied a jungle safari boat and I dragged Adam to the line.
Even this absurd ride was amazing. We spent the whole time grinning and commenting on how the same thing in Australia would be awful. We were on your regular river tour boat, with your regular tour guide - but the animals were ANIMATRONIC. Yes. Animatronic. But not the crappy animatronic you might imagine ...
Yes. An entire herd of life-sized, convincing elephants,
stamping, blowing water out of their noses and
generally looking like elephants.
There were hippos under the water that rose up and opened their mouths when you went by, a pride of lions "cuddling a zebra", another "striped orange sharp toothed zebra", and piranhas that jumped out of the water beside the boat, to name a few.
Next, we spent half an hour in the queue for Indiana Jones (we found out the hard way you could only get one fastpass every few hours). Half an hour felt like five minutes as we wove our way through the inside of an ancient temple filled with bamboo scaffolding and "ancient" religious carvings. The ride itself was even more impressive. It had more detail and unexpected turns than one would ever imagine. My face was like this the whole time: :O
Indi fans, be jealous. Be very, very jealous. Film references abounded.
Adam in the line. At this point, we were
weaving through the bamboo scaffolding inside
the depths of a cave.
Since we got to the park so late, we stopped at Frontierland for lunch. The only thing in the park that we could find to eat was something called "Vegetarian Chili", and though sounding quite scary, was as hilarious as it was yummy. It was a bean taco mix in a bread bowl. A bread bowl. AN EDIBLE BOWL. Sadness abounded as the Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted House rides were both closed, though we DID see a functioning imitation-tall ship (and we took a photo for you, Jeremy).
Yes.
We picked up a fastpass for Splash Mountain before mistaking the train around the park for the Thunder Mountain railroad. We realised our mistake quickly after reading the map properly and hopped off in Toontown - quite literally a cartoon town. My face was like this: :D
It was cartoon! Come on!
There were even flat cardboard mountains in the distance. Disneyland spared no expense. We found a rollercoaster made of acorns and hopped aboard (that's a lie. It was a huge wait for quite a short but otherwise ok ride). Toontown was mostly shops, but it was enough for us to walk around the outside and laugh at the buildings.
Someone build this village so I can live here.
Then, it was on to "It's a small world".
Adam:
Thanks to the passing parade; the line was non-existent and we hopped right on to "It's a small world". The name is a bit of misnomer as the ride itself is huge, and lasts about 10 minutes. The boat ride was pleasant, though the music became a bit grating... for a version you can try at home sing this for 10 minutes "It's a small world after-all" [repeat].
Now it was time for "Splash Mountain". On our way we heard the screams of terror/joy from the people crashing down the mountain. We almost felt bad as we used our fastpass to skip the epic line of people waiting for the ride, excepting that we totally got to skip the line so it was awesome. We were disheartened slightly as we saw the drenched people stepping out of the ride, clearly water was to be involved (who'd have thought?). The ride itself was awesome lots of swooshing through caverns and off of cliffs (Caitlin sat up front, shielding me from most of the wet :D)
Not pictured: Imminent wetness.
Caitlin:
So, after a 90 degree vertical drop, we crabwalked out of the ride with really wet pants and managed to find Thunder Mountain. It was a rollercoaster of epic length - it spiralled all the way down a man-made mountain and never seemed to end. The dinosaur skeleton coming out of the "eroded soil" was a highlight. A foreign couple behind us squealed like small children. Or that could have been Adam.
I think this is Thunder Mountain ... :\ It was
one of them.
We got another fastpass for Autopia, where we drove cars around a track but were stuck on a track in the middle of the road anyway so there didn't seem to be much point. We were trying to kill time until our 7:45pm Star Tours session, which became unavailable after about 1pm, but it was starting to get dark and we didn't know how to get to the hotel. We had to get a pass-out to go get information about the shuttle back to the airport (we didn't want to accidentally have to sleep on Splash Mountain. They stamped our hands, but when we looked, there was nothing there.
My hypothesis was confirmed when we saw
the UV torches at the re-entry points.
The last shuttle left at 9pm, so we went back in and had Pizza Planet pasta for dinner. It wasn't really Pizza Planet, but it was close enough. Afterwards, we explored the Innovation Centre, which was supposed to be a bit like Scienceworks but lacked any real science. It was all very American and sensationalist and largely irrelevant to real life, but we did get a chance to see Adam as an old man (oh no, what have I got myself in for?)
He's going to be very saggy and unhappy.
Perhaps I turn into a nag?
Tired and nervous about getting home, we decided to take the 8pm bus home instead, which means we'd miss Star Tours. All that hype for nothing, huh? We took one last walk through Adventureland in the dark, though. It was beautiful, even if it was all fake. We walked through the treeline on a Tarzan themed boardwalk and got a great view of the Disneyland skyline.
The whole place was lit up with hanging lanterns.
Adam on the Tarzan boardwalk.
Our night ended on a high, though. Adam scouted for a couple to give our fastpasses to so they didn't go to waste. At the entrance, he caught a young couple and handed them the passes. The guy was almost too enthusiastic ("Dude! You're awesome! This is so great!") until I saw his Blue Sun t-shirt as he walked away. We gave the Star Wars ride passes to sci-fi geeks ....
Disneyland: Wow.
Oh, Dad - we saw the fat guy with the turkey leg. You know, the one you saw 67 times at Disneyworld. Wow, he's quick.
No comments:
Post a Comment